I got betrayed by someone whom I offered to help. Helping this person would have helped me too. Helping this person would have required solidarity, ruthlessness, and a long memory for how we had both been transgressed against by a third party.
Her memory wasn’t adequately long and she took pity on the third party, breaking solidarity with me.
I saw it coming, and should not have put my faith in her.
Still, I’m having trouble not hating her in this moment. I wanted to win. I should have won. But winning in this case hinged upon the weakness, the inadequacy of another.
That weakness / inadequacy in question?: Her compassion and forgiveness in this misplaced context.
Her weakness is going tp cost me time and money, and it’s hard for me in this moment to wish the best for her; to hope that the third party doesn’t continue to transgress against her once I’m gone. Part of me wants things to degenerate further once I’m gone so she’ll realize that virtue misplaced is tantamount to sin. So that she’ll realize that she messed up.
The only thing which softens my current feelings toward her is thinking that perhaps things played out like this for a reason; perhaps this is a part of some larger-order plan -everything is after all.
For now I will simply be patient and take things as they come, making the appropriate adjustments as necessary and acting accordingly.
I don’t intend to forgive her precisely, but in time I will come to be grateful to her.
The wheel keeps on turning. Let us never be so prideful as to think we know where it should stop or that it should stop.