Tag Archives: pua

The Look of Love

Friends,

Staying with my uncle these past couple weeks out on Lake Huron and spending my days helping out at his restaurant. Yesterday evening I came down from the staff room, having shed my sweater and rocking a sleeveless tank, ready to don an apron and begin helping out with dishes.

There were two attractive girls at the bar in the mid 30s age range and the blond one, let’s call her ‘Holly’, was like, “Wow, you have big muscles!” I looked at Holly, and from my peripherals I could tell the guy sitting behind her was narrowing his eyes at me.

“Thank-you,” I responded.

“You wanna arm wrestle?” the guy blurted out?

“No thanks, they’re just for show.” I responded with a smile.

“I bet!” he shot back.

I looked at him, widening my smile, “ and responded quickly, “None taken!” -a clever little retort for forms of aggression passive and veiled that I picked up from the Brits. Even he had to break eye contact and chuckle.

In a mild state of disbelief and amusement about how low this guy went right from the hop, I turned my attention back to Holly.

“Who are you?” she asked.

Smiling good-naturedly, I gave her my best George Costanza: “I’m the opposite of every man you ever met.”

I guess I must have reached my left hand up to my face as I sad this, because as he quickly interjected, “I doubt it!”, she exclaimed, “I would love to love you!” -the script tattooed on my left forearm.

She quickly turned to her husband to explain she was just reading my tattoo.

Sure 🙄

Him again: “You wanna come by our hot tub tonight?”

I said, “sure” not really expecting anything to materialize from it. I was right in assuming it was a desperate effort to regain face.

There was quiet for a second and I said, “Actually I’m gonna go hot tub my hands in the dish-pit. Nice meeting you guys.”

I turned to put on an apron and the girls came behind the bar and began invading the kitchen to have a look; they’re friends of my uncle and cousins who own the place so I just let it happen. After the girls passed me I was still tying up my apron still and the guy came behind the bar.

“What’s your name, brother?” I asked.

“D’Arcy” he responded.

He broke eye contact first and mumbled something about nothing, continuing on into the kitchen and through to the adjacent store where the girls were talking to the staff and having a look around.

I followed to collect dishes and overhead him saying some more comments about my unwillingness to arm wrestle.

“Fuck it!” I thought, “Why not?”

I noticed he had the name of a construction firm on his hat so I assumed that was his profession.

“Hey D’Arcy!”

He looked at me and they walked over.

“You work in construction, right?”

“Yeah…”

“I work on my computer; I have no business arm-wrestling you.” I’m not sure if his wife got the sub-text, but he did: “I’m as fit as you and probably smarter than you.”

They left soon after. I’ve gotten a lot better at holding gaze and speaking slow and truthfully. In the past I would have gotten tripped up by such overt flirtation and aggression, but I really took this instance in stride, kept my composure and even gave a little back.

Best,

-Dre

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Hitting Home

Friends,

I find it difficult to give a shit about things that I can’t relate to, but sometimes my give-a-shit is stimulated in the most unexpected ways.

Bears & Turtles Teach me About Climate Change

As a product of the 80’s, I’ve heard about “global warming”/climate change for most of my life.  For example, the “greenhouse effect” was something I first remember reading about at around age six or seven.

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I actually read about it in this book so I knew it was a serious issue.

But even though my childhood heroes, the turtles mentioned such problems, they never seemed more than a background concern for me.

Then, at some point I saw a picture similar to this one:

skinny-wet-bear

The polar bear has been, for as long as I can remember my favourite animal, and this emaciated, sickly-looking bear is one of the casualties of loss of habitat due to human activities.  Suddenly the importance of our actions crystallized for me.  And whether or not you put stock in concepts like climate change, global warming, etc., I want to illustrate that a picture like this one is what made such concepts real and tangible for me.

Jesus the Smoove Mack-Daddy

In September 2009 I resumed my university career after a three-year hiatus which included a stint in Afghanistan.  I wouldn’t say that the experience made me cynical, but I recognized a need for organized violence in the world as a reality of life.  When doing my course selection for that returning year I decided to take Theory and Practice of Non-Violence for giggles and to see what it was all about.  I found the readings and the lessons interesting but I just relegated it to the area of my brain reserved for fanciful notions like unicorns and the female anal orgasm.

Fast forward to late in the semester and I was still puzzling over what to write about for my final paper.  The idea of arguing for the necessity of violence in the world had fallen flat when I ran it by the prof and I wasn’t really sure what to do.  As I sat reading one of the class’ weekly readings, an idea started percolating.  The reading was a modern interpretation of Jesus’ actions and showed how he was the paragon of non-violence, but what it read like to me  was a guide on how to be an alpha male.  To me it smacked of pick-up literature,

the_game

and Jesus was painted to be a master of social dynamics.  Something clicked in my head and I began to see the wisdom of non-violence, especially when viewed as just being cool and not being a dick.  I hadn’t completely accepted it as an ethos, but it had taken root in my head in this much more palatable permutation.

The Point of All This

There is a saying about leading horses to water but not being able to make them drink.  There is merit to this saying but I think it begs the question, “Why isn’t the horse drinking?”  Well, why didn’t I accept certain propositions until after their merit was seen in a more personal, relateable light?  Personally, I am fond of saying that “While it is the listeners duty to understand, it is the speaker’s duty to be understood.” The upshot is that whether you are talking or listening, the onus of understanding is always on you.

I guess I bring this us because I used to beat people over the head with (my) truth.  And while my convictions have remained the same I find that I am much more effective at communicating now because I realize how long even the most evident and truthful ideas can take to be accepted and take root.

Rest assured though that no matter how long it takes, the truth will always take root.

Best,

-Andre Guantanamo

ADDENDUM: I think there is a point here about the importance for a unified view of the planet.  We so often tend to try and remedy the injustices to disenfranchised groups through piecemeal actions which inevitably disenfranchise other groups. Whether you think its right or not, there is a very real feeling of alienation among males suspicious of feminism, among whites suspicious of affirmative action,  etc. As a result, people take on a tribalistic mentality and only care for those immediately around them or who are of a similar demographic (I think this is ultimately a problem of scarcity, but that’s another discussion). Taking a unified view and viewing ourselves as one species would make the imperative of treating each other well really hit home and force us to question a scarcity-based system which forces us to get ahead at the expense of our fellow human beings.

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Shedding a Tear for Feminism

For Lil’ Keezy, who missed me when I was gone.

Friends,

In the last couple months I created an account on Reddit after hearing about how it was the best place in the internet; the internet of course being the best place in the world.  I have taken to it slowly, due mostly to the fact that I didn’t really appreciate that I could subscribe to niche “subreddits” that would cater to my particular, peculiar tastes (CHECK OUT r/SPACEDICKS … IT’S TERRIFIC!!!).  From a subreddit devoted to “The Wire” to r/supershibe, haven for doge worship…

fcd

…there’s just about anything you could want.  At some point, probably while looking for a Matrix subreddit to post a wicked funny image I made…

AppMatrix
I KNOW IT’S PRETTY HILARIOUS, BUT DON’T LOL TOO HARD, GAIS!

…I happened across r/TheRedPill.  Naively, I assumed it would be a forum of like-minded dissidents who had “woken up” to the deep, structural injustice in society.

Well, I was half right, but only in the worst way possible.

You see, TRP is devoted to the disenfranchised male of the species taking back the power from oppressive women.  Still naive, I assumed this was a repackaging of the much-maligned Pick-Up Artist (PUA)/Seduction community popularized by Neil Strauss’ 2005 book, “The Game.”  I always felt the PUA/S community was unfairly demonized when it attained mainstream popularity because certain core principles were overlooked and it was derided as simply “manipulating women.”  Naturally, women took offense to the idea that men might be ninja’ing their brains and fledgling Pick-Up Artists who would quote material and routines verbatim were spotted, scorned and ostracized in the backlash.
However, if women took the time to look a little deeper, the core principles are actually self-improvement, taking charge of your life and gaining fulfillment in love and sex.  Nobody talks about that part but most savvy modern women are familiar with the “Neg.” Well bravo, that’s like reducing the profession of nurse simply to one who wipes the asses of bed-ridden patients.  It’s insulting, reductive and inaccurate.
I’m not gonna argue the relative merits of Pick-Up Artistry beyond saying that since my introduction to the community there has been a corresponding improvement in my dealings with the opposite sex and more importantly, a diversification and broadening of my own experiential base and character, vis a vis  life in general.  Notice, I said “corresponding,” not “causal,” meaning you can be like me, take the truth from a given source and use what works to your advantage.  Conversely, you can also take certain ideas and incorporate them into a philosophy of fear, revenge, subjugation and dehumanization.

trp

Like I said, I was a little naive exploring this sub, and more than a little excited to be among others like me.  After lurking for a time and getting some good leads on self-improvement material (Check out “The Black Phillip Show” from the late Patrice O’Neal) I was emboldened to make a post which posited a connection between the (perceived) necessity of PUA/S techniques among males and the unfortunate reality that we live in a competitive society whose operant mechanism is scarcity.  I inquired as to whether others thought that a more egalitarian society where we did not always have to game for advantage would bring an end to the commodity-status of female sexuality/women using sex as a bargaining chip, and men treating their time (time not having sex) the same way.*  A pretty straight-forward well-reasoned question if you ask me.  ASK ME!!!
What damned me was my good-natured, well-intended good-bye: “Til that day, game righteously and leave her better than you found her.”
Pardon my language, but on the strength of that insignificant addendum niggaz was wilin’ on me!

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“Yes. We most certainly were.”

Without even addressing my question most people simply attacked my farewell.  The amount of vitriol I received for supposing that you could enrich a woman’s life by being a part of it was a complete shock to me. It was made abundantly clear to me that a woman’s value diminished with every new interaction (i.e. sex partner) she had and that for a man to get what he wanted a woman would necessarily have to be diminished.  So I’m sorry to every girl I ever slept with, but you fucked up.
Amazed by this I took a closer look at some of the suggested reading the subreddit provided links to and was amazed that there was a movement of males who felt that the biggest threat to men today was rampant feminism and that misandry victims were really invisible victims.
Feminism?…really?

Now allow me to put my cards on the table real quick to dispel any notions of “white-knighting” on my part.

Ahem…fuck feminism.**  I got no use for it or any other ‘-ism’ notion.

That said, I don’t fear that the feminazis are coming to get me and in turn use that fear to justify mistreatment of women. It turns out however that a whole community of men do.  Call me old-fashioned (or a beta, liberal-fag, leftard, pussy) but I just think that relationships can be mutually beneficial and fulfilling.  Is it difficult?  Yes, especially in the context of a competitive socio-economic system where everyone, including a romantic partner, can be rightfully suspected of trying to take you for all you have, which really ties into the original question in my post.
But it is possible, and moreover, I would say its desirable.

You see when it comes down to it, I class both feminism and the TRP movement as outgrowths of inequality.  Every disenfranchised group is gonna find some ‘other’ to blame.  But sometimes “others” can be amorphous and hard to define.  Blaming the other gender is mad easy though; its an “other” as old as the species itself.  And, big surprise here, it doesn’t make your situation any better.

bat

If you think one of these pics represents worse violence than the other then you just might be part of the problem.

In closing I want to say that there is truth in everything if you have eyes to decode it and see it.  In the case of feminism, this is especially true; whatever the root causality, there are unique challenges that women go through that it is foolish to try and deny.  I think not acknowledging this is an affront to women.
Similarly, the Red Pill has a lot of good stuff in it but you gotta be willing to wade through a lot of hatred and antipathy.  Moreover, there are some guys who responded thoughtfully, if cynically, to my post, which shows that you can’t just broadly paint any group as good or bad based on the loudest members.

Best,
-Andre Guantanamo

*I realize this is an oversimplified expression of male/female relations but it is an expedient one for the point I was trying to make.

**When well-intentioned issues-based movements gain too much clout and become too established they become burdensome to anyone who isn’t championed explicitly by that cause.  Please read more about my thoughts on the subject here.

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