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To Health…

My Friends,
   I have recently been watching a lot of the show Mad Men.  One of the things even a cursory viewing of the show will make clear is that ad men in the 1950s/60s liked them some liquor & tobacco.  I have to confess that all of the vices indulged in on the show make me want to pick up a glass of whiskey and my pipe and drink & smoke along with the characters.  The drinking is not so much of a problem (well it is for me cause I don’t have any liquor on-hand) but the smoking is; I have a pipe but if I want to smoke I must go outside.  I have to admit I am feeling nostalgic for a time before I was born when people could light up with impunity.  Now I have to worry about no-smoking regulations in public places, and the sensitive noses of my house-mates and my woman if I am at home.  Sure I could always go smoke outside, but its still winter out there and I’m not just looking to have a quick puff so I can get a nicotine fix.  Rather I am looking to puff my favourite tobacco blend (its called “Mark Twain” and its the shyyyit) and sip my new favourite rye (40 Creek) all while watch one of my new favourite shows.
   Unfortunately society has predictably gone from one retarded extreme to another.  We went from the days of excess (smoking permitted in hospitals) to the days of equal yet opposite excess (smoking banned even in bars and certain outdoor locations).  Why can’t we just collectively not be so fucking retarded and simply legislate in moderation?  The anti-tobacco lobby, which started as a health crusader, has now become an overbearing perversion of its original self, infringing on people’s freedoms to enjoy tobacco.  Everyone knows at this point that cigarettes are addictive and bad for your health, but its not like every smoker is a chain-smoking case of emphysema waiting to happen.  Some people (like me) just want to light up their pipe or cigar or every few weeks with a glass of something aged 12 years, and enjoy how the two flavours complement each other.  This is a simple, yet enriching experience which I believe few, if any in the anti-tobacco lobby have revelled in.
   As far as I’m concerned, we have gone too far and have marginalized a good portion of the population.  By demonizing their enjoyable pastime we have demonized them.  I don’t like it one bit.  Now if you’ll excuse I’m gonna go find something to smoke and drink.
Stay Thirsty,
-Andre Guantanamo


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