Tag Archives: kanye west

Guess Who’s Going to Jail Tonight

Guess who’s gettin’ Xed.

I fought with my host today—my workaway host—because I too aggressively stated my boundaries.

Guess who’s going to jail tonight?

Got’i’s own proverb so honesty i’my policy
Grunge on the mirror—spoke curtly—that’s my Nirvanity
—La Grangin wit Hermione, strawberry-based irony,
Drinking all the smoothie up, stem-cell lobotomy
Re-versal, Lee thermal, waistband full—Gar-FIELD—Nermal
Dem’s my two kitty-kats, the former one’s the bigger gat, Magnum R&Deagle strap, gold-leaf aristocat

(UHHH YEAH .50 CAL LASAGNA)
(UHH, ARRR-BUCKLED UP IN MY HONDA)

Strapped up in my Civic now, deuce-deuce rimfire kitten—MEOW!
Schizophrenic episode, relapsed into lobotomy, shittier than colostomy

regenerate the neural, layer of mater dura, covering the pre-‘fernal’,
Forcin through re-perrin’ the exitin of the stir stick tha’ad form’ally been inserted,
Through nasal pharyng’ial circuit, perferin

I set fires
Burnin up a dog in a heap—that’s a—that’s a pet pyre
See Rover died again after took a life from Kitty
Took it on a loan—Meow!Gimme collateral,
Gave a cat a bone.

One life from the kitty’s nine
Life was moving up his spine
Owed it back with interest, right
So he had no b’iness dyin

********************

So yes—I rap now.
-Dre

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Simpulsity

I ain’t no simp or no wimp—ˆ’m a motherfuckin’ pimp!

I had occasion to grill meat and vegetables on a large barbecue. It felt good to grill zucchini and eggplant that had been dressed with balsamic vinegar—just like my stepdad used to grill on the barbecue back in the day. making food for other people is one of those things that I need to do more in life as part of my healing arc.

Arc reactors were never meant to be the end but a transitory step, Tony.
Thanks, Dad

PBS stands for Pussy Bullshit Station (I think methinks)

H.O.V. I got my own lane now. My lane is now what?: I live in the United States of America and its fucking scary here and Im so alone. I have a wife and she’s cool, but as a husband, its not a good look to run and hide behind my wife apron-strings. Also, my wife doesn’t wear aprons—she’s not exactly traditional housewife, but then I’m not traditional husband so it all evens out.

Josh Groban is returning to the (PBS?) stage for a show that is apparently gonna be pretty good. I’m glad for him.

A dedicated team of archaeologists have made a discovery at stonehenge”—The mo’ dedicated the mo’ medicated
Stonehenge—built 4-5K years ago by stone-age people now lost to time.

Shrouds—what’s the deal? Why are they always (very often) made of mystery (the shrouds that is)?

I’ve been following the Kanye West news more than any other news. I get inundated with the PBS every night, sure, but I default filter a lot of that commie claptrap out.
—The wizard, Merlin led people west to Ireland—the land of giants; He used his magic to transport the stones back to England
-rather than Ireland it was actually west Wales

Stonehenge archaeologist says that if you wanna understand stonehenge you gotta focus on the blue stones.

************************

I’ve been hearing mention of Nazi bases in Antarctica but I’m fairly certain its from people (one person) who knows I know where the Nazis are. It’s okay—you can make fun of my crazy as long as you speak my crazy to do it. I bolded the last sentence after writing it cause it sounded like something Kanye might say.

Zircon is good for dating other rocks because as a mineral it isn’t affected so much by processes.
—Must be cause of its cubic structure; very stable, like diamond.

What a day. What a life.

This is a famous picture of Burt Reynolds and an unnamed bear. They both have exquisite pelts, except that Burt (at the time) is alive and the bear is not.
As being alive is better than being dead* we can deduce that it is better to be Burt Reynolds than it is to be the bear (at least at the time this picture was taken.

But let’s back it up: Everything being equal—Burt and Bear both alive—the bear, even if he was the creme de la creme of bears, would have had an existence that paled in comparison to the opulence, comfort and decadence (and achievement) of Burt Reynolds. Burt Reynolds represented the top 0.1% of men. Did that bear represent the same percentile among bears? And if he did, we have to assume that the peak of humanity os better than the peak of bear, fearsome though the latter may be.
Being Burt is better.

Bur Burt is dead. So he’s equal to the bear? No, as the top 0.1% of humanity, Burt has a body of work that survives as well as his life in people’ memories. The bear would be dead and gone were he not posed with Burt. BUrt is life. If this picture didn’t exist, Burt would still live on but the bear would not.

Best,

-Andre

*discussed elsewhere

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We Update!

*much of the text is incorporated dialogue from Dave Chappelle’s 12 NOV 2022 SNL monologue, and Kanye West’s 24 OCT 2022 interview with Lex Fridman*

We still alive. We still out here. Thank-you, Mario but our princess is in another castle.
I love her because she lets me put a lunger in her ass—She’s definitely my favorite of all-time. She’s a mix of Rob & Kris—“Damn, I like this DNA!”

My DNA is on point. Me and my dad have a water purification plant in the DR.
(My dad got girls too!)
I found my dad’s Playboy when I was five.—That’s how people are made.
I want girl’s to like me like they like Pharrell.

I’m drawing these new living cells that we exist in….. This is a drawing.
Restore the tower of ‘Basil’.

What’s the motivation?

The promised land is family—that is heaven on Earth.
Say I smite the rock and God doesn’t let me into paradise.
My mission is still to promote families.

You’re actually gonna make more money by making better food.
In America we are making people sick.
Is SUGAR bad? Sugar Ray. Sugar Shane. Sugarman. Candyman. Sweet like FIRE!!
—We don’t care what people say!

Don’t be afraid to state your facts because the world is running a fear program.
—Fear doesn’t run the world—God does!

If you have a truth, shout it out like Tourette’s. Say it non-violently, but say it right away!
“THEY” gets the blame for anything/everything.

I to WE and THEY to US
—let’s all be accountabili-buddies

I am open-sourcing this idea so anointed beings can collectively contribute to this.

Constant flow, no water wasting. Toilet close to wave pool (not a wave pool, but the water isn’t still).
People lean in to what they are used to seeing—same old buildings

Everyone wants to be attractive to the attractive.

It’s difficult to make me unhappy.

You really need to scream at yourself when you allow people to be in your lives who you know shouldn’t be there and who act and behave how you knew they would.

Ye hates robots. Robots have feelings too. <—-both statements are jokes.
—DO IT FOR THE HUMAN RACE!!
Robots can be good as long as the people making the robots are good.
—In Nazi Germany, technology was used for evil.

Planned Parenthood is the black Holocaust Museum?
—The most dangerous place for a black person in America is in their mother’s stomach.

Kyrie’ Irving’s black ass was nowhere near the holocaust—in fact, he’s not even certain it existed.
—a fair punishment would be he post a link to Schindler’s List and y’all write your own captions.

Soros would use black trauma economy (BTE) to win election.
What is the BTE?
-Bambi’s mom dying at the end
-Jews have holocaust movies and blacks have slavery movies

Rappers talk about “we were kings” which is INCORRECT if WE (black people) are Jew (as opposed to Jew-ish)
-WE are the people that Moses freed.
There’s so much wisdom to draw from history—but we should forget it
Do we need to remember history? I hope so because I have a history degree

Should I release that pain and separate it? Then you release yours and separate it.
-He’s off his shit/meds/rocker—It’s a scarlet letter

They put me as the prophet, not the leader
Islam is prophet—the only person that would say this
Christianity is messiah
Judaism is covenant

The ‘black man’/Moor represents Islam/Ishmael
-“Father, I love you. Still, you’re out of line.”

Get on your knees AND KISS MY DICK!!
-Where’s our apology? We ca’t get there because theres no right way to word it?
Friends who never learned to make shoes with a German company tryna tell me not to wear this hat or shirt

I’m back here as a being with engineering opportunities before me

I’m not asking for anyone to sympathize with someone who can make $11B, make money appear out of thin air in five different industries, married to Kim Karadashian….like noone’s gonna feel my pain.

What’s the apology you’re looking for as a Jewish engineer LEX

I walked away from that situation; I went to Japan like the samurai that I am.

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Hall of Otis

Friends,

One of my favourite songs from recent years is the Jay-Z and Kanye collaboration “Otis” from the joint album, Watch the Throne. In short, the song is disgusting with almost universally positive reviews.* But you know how it go: you do something that works and everyone imitates it. In fact, there has been a falsehood perpetuated over the last few years in hip-hop that success can be measured as proportionate to level of hatred one receives, but the truth is more intuitive: success is directly proportionate to how many people jock, dick-ride, emulate and straight-up copy you. “Imitation is the highest form of flattery,” after all. And imitators there have been, all taking the song’s slick beat and dropping tight lyrics about their own exploits. Four such imitators are noteworthy enough to me to warrant mention and I want to rate them and see how they stack up against the original.
So first, the original…

1. Otis by Jay-Z and Kanye West
Best Lines: ” I guess I got my swagger back.”
“Sophisticated ignorance, write my curses in cursive.”
“Everything’s for sale; I got five passports, I’m never goin to jail.”
“Build your fences, we diggin’ tunnls,” etc… (near every line in the song is a best line)
Worst Lines: N/A

F0BEEF0BD855D6A89B989EDBD67E52CC

   Fuck, what can I say about this song that hasn’t already been said about a finger in your ass while getting a blowjob? Amazing! The wordplay is playful, clever and tight and it’s an unapologetic celebration of everything that’s wrong with the world. In fact, the only legit criticism I have ever heard levied at this song came from my friend, Adriana who lamented that the homage to excess, vice and privilege was completely un-ironic and thus an unwitting display of aberrant values. For this view I have some sympathy, but only to a point because my appreciation of the song is more contingent on what it meant to me and not what it meant to Jay and Ye.
This song is gonna serve as the control, if I may be so bold as to potentially misuse scientific language for the purposes of a “for fun” blog post. Gonna rate it on the scientifically-approved scale of 10.

Rating: 10/10

Now for the challengers…

2. Otis (Remix) by Busta Rhymes & DMX
Best Lines: “”Two niggaz reppin’ the ‘R’ -X and X!!”
“Don’t worry bout what condition I’m in, you cats can’t survive half the places I been.”
Anytime DMX growls like a dog.
Worst Lines: “DON’T. TALK. BACK. When your father’s talkin’ to you!”

Busta-Rhymes-DMX-OTIS-REMIX

   This version fucks with me. At the outset I thought to myself, “OH NOES, poor Kanye and Jay are gonna get murdered on their own track.” It was a reasonable assumption; on top of the fact that neither Busta or DMX are slouches on the mic, both have achieved mainstream success and arguably even icon status throughout their careers. And, in the case of DMX, everyone loves a comeback. But somehow this version…fails to deliver, and I’m not even 100% sure why. Even the wack rhymes aren’t that bad.
Some observations though: DMX is definitely the stronger MC on the track but that has less to do with him being “better” than Busta in any absolute sense. Rather, I think it has more to do with the fact that Busta seems to be gearing his delivery to sound more like DMX, menacing and violent. Don’t get me wrong, Busta can be legitimately threatening, but nobody does it like DMX and when you are going back and forth with him on a track it only accentuates how much better he is than you at it. I would have preferred Busta to deliver his rhymes in his more rapid, staccato style with heavily accentuated breaks followed by near-immediate, seamless re-immersion into rapid, staccato delivery (See What’s Happenin’, Fire, Thank-You, etc.).
Also, I don’t like the heavy use of sound effects on the track. I’m not saying it’s bad but it just doesn’t appeal to me personally.

Rating: 8/10

3. Otis Freestyle by Cassidy feat. Jag
Best Lines: “Scream at me if you need the trees, or the ‘white bitch’ (COCAINE) -I work the morning and the night shift.”
“In Philly I’m a willy/wheelie like a bike trick,”
“I’m from a ‘get shot in the face’ hood,”
Larsiny we in this bitch now -niggas need to leave, apply pressure to a nigga neck -he don’t need to breathe,” etc..
Worst Lines: N/A

cassidyjag3

   Straight-up: this version is ill and it probably comes the closest to eclipsing the Jay/Kanye original. Why? Well it’s a solid track with no wack rhymes for one. And while I think Cassidy clearly shines brighter than Jag, the latter is no slouch either. Rather his more subtly delivered punchlines serve to compliment and offset Cassidy’s often crude hilarity. The two have a definite rapport which I where I think they outdo Kanye and Jay, as their back and forth is seamless like Ghostface and Raekwon. For the uninitiated, that’s lofty praise.
On a separate note, I have become something of a fan of Cassidy in recent years, and that’s in spite of the fact that my tastes in music have changed and matured. While I listen to less and less music promoting criminality and violence I can’t help but smile when I hear Cass’ well-wrought punchlines about cooking up dope, killing people, etc. And it’s that same cleverness which really elevates this track.
The sad reality is that because neither Cassidy or Jag have the profile and stardom of Jay and Kanye, this track never got the exposure it deserved outside of the internet. Still from a technical perspective, it’s pretty unfuckwithable.

Rating: 9.5/10

4. Otis Freestyle by Justin Bieber
Best Lines: “Pull up on my enemies, see if they remember me, soon as they remember me, I wipe away they memory.”
“Ridin’ in a all-black Benz, with the all-black rims, and we lookin at some 10s through our all-black lenses.”
“Get it done abundantly, she wants to get up under me, I swear that I got hundred these cause baby I’m a money tree, so be my little honey, be my little bitty bunny, I got honeys all up on me -baby I just get it dunny.”
Worst Lines: “Started playin’ drums when I was only 2, now I kick it in Japan -Kung Fu!”
“I thanked Jesus at the awards, I’m never goin to hell, call me Zack Morris I’m savin ya by the bell.”
“My girls says I’m perfect … I think she is perfectly perfectly perfect.”

bieber

   There is so much right with this version that it’s a damn shame some of the lyrics are so wack. Out of all the challengers, JB is in the best position to cut a track in the same spirit of opulence, stardom and fabulous wealth as the original. And so he does, even quoting Kanye’s line, “Can’t you see the private jets flying over you?” But the problems are of a more technical nature: Pubescent white-boy delivery notwithstanding, Justin seems to be good at emulating great rap but his verses and delivery seem a bit robotic and overly MCish. He tries to cram too many multi-syllabic words in as a seeming cover for not feeling comfortable enough in his own rhyming skin to just flow on the track.  Overall, this version has a a “Hey, look what I can do” vibe rather than the “Shut-up and listen while I break it down for you real quick” vibe I would prefer and which would be better suited to the tone he is aiming for.
I love this version and I respect his effort, but I think JB needs to spend more time developing his rap voice to the level of his singing voice before he can be a serious contender in the rap game.

Rating: 7/10

5. Otis (Remix) by Papoose
Best Lines: “Actin like you fly -STOP, Imma tell you like they told Joe Pesci, go get your motherfuckin’ shinebox!”
“There’s no tomorrow, throw a hollow, all the haters know the motto, cop a mother-lode of bottles, tell the waiter hold the sparkles…”
“You fickle, you couldn’t hustle a nickel out a dimespot.”
“I serve my beef with shells like a fuckin’ taco.”
“Make my Bed in the Stuy -I sleep in y’all streets.”
Worst Lines: “I live in a condo big as Kilimanjaro.”
“I don’t even know the vowels, I-O-U,  gener-AL like Colin Powell,”

images

   Once again, so much right with this track that it pains me to see so many missteps. From a technical perspective, this is the kind of delivery Bieber should be aspiring to right now, but from Papoose, a seasoned MC known for lyricism, I think he coulda done better. Like JB, there is way too many instances of ostentatious muli-syllabic rhymes which just seem extraneous. And while there are some great punchlines (I absolutely love the Joe Pesci/Goodfellas reference) on the whole it wasn’t consistently amusing enough like Cassidy’s raps to take me forget that he’s rapping a lot of negative, crime-related shit.
I will give Pap credit though, he does wax conscious in certain parts, like when he tells young girls, “You don’t need implants to get your body all stern, if you just eat right your ass will be more firm.” Actually he spends a few consecutive bars toward the end of the track trying to “teach the younger generation,” going so far as to lament that young black girls, possibly taught to be ashamed of their blackness, seek perms to achieve a more white aesthetic. That’s my interpretation anyways, but I gotta give him props because he shows real honesty and pretty skillfully walks the line between conscious and preachy.
   One more similarity between this version and the JB version is that it’s a solo track. While I’m not necessarily against that, I don’t think it’s any accident that the two highest-ranking versions of the song I have here are duets. It’s a BIG beat and if you’re gonna attack it solo you gotta bring it.

Rating: 8/10

   I hope you enjoyed my critique of these tracks and that it has instilled a similar appreciation of the original song and all of its spin-offs in you.

Best,
-Andre Guantanamo

*By “universal” I simply mean that I hadn’t seen a single bad review of it in my thorough and exhaustive search on google where I didn’t look past the first page.

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