Tag Archives: dave chappelle

We Update!

*much of the text is incorporated dialogue from Dave Chappelle’s 12 NOV 2022 SNL monologue, and Kanye West’s 24 OCT 2022 interview with Lex Fridman*

We still alive. We still out here. Thank-you, Mario but our princess is in another castle.
I love her because she lets me put a lunger in her ass—She’s definitely my favorite of all-time. She’s a mix of Rob & Kris—“Damn, I like this DNA!”

My DNA is on point. Me and my dad have a water purification plant in the DR.
(My dad got girls too!)
I found my dad’s Playboy when I was five.—That’s how people are made.
I want girl’s to like me like they like Pharrell.

I’m drawing these new living cells that we exist in….. This is a drawing.
Restore the tower of ‘Basil’.

What’s the motivation?

The promised land is family—that is heaven on Earth.
Say I smite the rock and God doesn’t let me into paradise.
My mission is still to promote families.

You’re actually gonna make more money by making better food.
In America we are making people sick.
Is SUGAR bad? Sugar Ray. Sugar Shane. Sugarman. Candyman. Sweet like FIRE!!
—We don’t care what people say!

Don’t be afraid to state your facts because the world is running a fear program.
—Fear doesn’t run the world—God does!

If you have a truth, shout it out like Tourette’s. Say it non-violently, but say it right away!
“THEY” gets the blame for anything/everything.

I to WE and THEY to US
—let’s all be accountabili-buddies

I am open-sourcing this idea so anointed beings can collectively contribute to this.

Constant flow, no water wasting. Toilet close to wave pool (not a wave pool, but the water isn’t still).
People lean in to what they are used to seeing—same old buildings

Everyone wants to be attractive to the attractive.

It’s difficult to make me unhappy.

You really need to scream at yourself when you allow people to be in your lives who you know shouldn’t be there and who act and behave how you knew they would.

Ye hates robots. Robots have feelings too. <—-both statements are jokes.
Robots can be good as long as the people making the robots are good.
—In Nazi Germany, technology was used for evil.

Planned Parenthood is the black Holocaust Museum?
—The most dangerous place for a black person in America is in their mother’s stomach.

Kyrie’ Irving’s black ass was nowhere near the holocaust—in fact, he’s not even certain it existed.
—a fair punishment would be he post a link to Schindler’s List and y’all write your own captions.

Soros would use black trauma economy (BTE) to win election.
What is the BTE?
-Bambi’s mom dying at the end
-Jews have holocaust movies and blacks have slavery movies

Rappers talk about “we were kings” which is INCORRECT if WE (black people) are Jew (as opposed to Jew-ish)
-WE are the people that Moses freed.
There’s so much wisdom to draw from history—but we should forget it
Do we need to remember history? I hope so because I have a history degree

Should I release that pain and separate it? Then you release yours and separate it.
-He’s off his shit/meds/rocker—It’s a scarlet letter

They put me as the prophet, not the leader
Islam is prophet—the only person that would say this
Christianity is messiah
Judaism is covenant

The ‘black man’/Moor represents Islam/Ishmael
-“Father, I love you. Still, you’re out of line.”

Get on your knees AND KISS MY DICK!!
-Where’s our apology? We ca’t get there because theres no right way to word it?
Friends who never learned to make shoes with a German company tryna tell me not to wear this hat or shirt

I’m back here as a being with engineering opportunities before me

I’m not asking for anyone to sympathize with someone who can make $11B, make money appear out of thin air in five different industries, married to Kim Karadashian….like noone’s gonna feel my pain.

What’s the apology you’re looking for as a Jewish engineer LEX

I walked away from that situation; I went to Japan like the samurai that I am.

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Shutting "Bro" Down

My Friends,
   Today my brother messaged me on FB and referred to me as Brosario Dawson.

Not for nothin’, but I don’t look nearly that good in panties
I felt bad for him when I read this because he has referred to me by this name before and it occurred to me that he might be running out of new ideas for nicknames derived from the word “bro.”  So, to help my bro out, I spent the better part of a trip to Lime Ridge Mall today brainstorming new bro puns while my woman shopped.  Without further ado, The Definitive List of Bro Puns.

Brosario Dawson
Broseph Stalin
Broseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat
Frozen Brogurt/Brozen Yogurt
Brometheus Bound
Han Brolo
Bromeo & Juliet
Indiana Brones 
The Bro-End Theory

Bronly the Lonely
Brotissimus Dorsi (it controls your fist bump flexors)
Chuck Broris (meme [br]overkill alert!!)
Bro-back Mountain (lame I know)
…shrimp gumbro…

Brorange Julius
Broakley Eyewear
La Vie en Brose (my woman made that one up)
Unterseebrooten/Das Broot
The Notorious Bro.I.G.
Broagie Sandwich
Brocal Chords
*THIS JUST IN* He just texted me and called me “Bro Pesci”
Brosama bin Laden
Barack Brobama
Bromez Addams

Brocestershire Sauce
Bromer Simpson
Pierce Bro-snan
Doc Bro-lliday
The Land Brofore Time V: The Brosterious Island
Binomial Bromenclature
Bay City Brollers
Brohio Players
Chef Broyardee
Brosie O’Donnell:
 “She wears underwear with dickholes in ’em”
Bro Namath/Montana/Mantegna
Bro Way, Jose
Bromar Little
Brogi Bear
Broga Flame

Abro Kadabra
Bronan the Barbarian
Braute Couture
Carbros the Jackal
Brovarian Motor Verks/Works (BMW)
Broservoir Dogs
Inglourious Brosterds
Keyser Broze
Brone Thugz n’ Harmony
Erin Bro-ckovich
Super Saiyan Broku:

His power level …. IT’S BROVER 9000!!

Brogadier General
Supreme Allied Brommander
The Neverending-Ending Brory
Broviet Union:
Iron Bro-fist

Brodeo Drive
Broman Numerals….
K, I think that’s it for the time being.  I will update this list if I need to but there should be enough there to get anyone by for a while.
Stay Thirsty
-Andre Guantanabro
P.S. Finished The Wire.  Sick show; go watch it.

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