*written December 21/2022*
I don’t know. Maybe Day 5 depending on whether you’re counting from the day I got home or my first full day back. My jaw is wired shut and I’m still eating through a straw. My wife did me a solid and picked up a bunch of frozen fruit, protein and other items which I have been nourishing myself with, and today I even blended some chicken tendies from Safeway. Is life good? I think so. Always, I suppose.
I’ve been pretty agreeable since I’ve been injured—a wired jaw will really make you argue a lot less. And with my mouth mostly out of commission, it’s difficult for my wife to accuse me of starting shit. Not impossible, mind you, but I have a lot more plausible deniability when I speak minimally.
The benefit, of that deniability is that it puts her on the spot when shit has gone awry. She has to look at herself and ask herself how the argument started, or what she’s mad about, etc. I think it’s accurate to say that we are all mirrors for each other on some level, but within the context of our marriage, this is the most mirror-like I have been. Looking at someone silently while they yell at you is—at least in theory—a great way to communicate without communicating that they are the problem.
*continued December 26/2022*
Of course, anyone who’s been married knows that being right will not save you—not in the short-term at least. I know that to maintain my soul over the medium/long-term I have to stay aligned with truth. Furthermore, I know that by aligning myself with truth I am agreeing in advance to a lot of arguments and posturing indignation from my better half. So be it.
It’s a new day. We made it through/past Christmas. There was some arguing but I don’t feel as if I provoked—I feel as if I recognized problems in advance and removed those bullets from the chamber before they went off dangerously (often to the chagrin of my wife who was sore that her bristling fur was observed when she maintained she was calm), and otherwise only spoke up to defend myself and/or clarify my position.
The problem with me is that I’m always right; and that’s no easy for a lot of people to deal with. Least of all for a spouse.
Best,
-Dre
Write-Errantry 