In a couple hours I am going to go to a dentist and have my wires removed from my mouth. I can communicate pretty well now and the swelling has gone down enough to sip without a straw. This is a good day. Still, I feel apprehensive. I don’t have insurance yet, and I still don’t know what my final bill from my week-long (emergency) hospital stay was. This is through a different clinic I was referred to by the emergency care providers so hopefully they are all on the same page, but I have been anticipating some fuckery about “Well, how are you paying today?”
Nonetheless, I will remain non-plussed. These guys —the medical establishment—put the wires in, and so it feels like a violation of Hippocratic Oath to leave them in.
Maybe I’m making more out of this than I need to. It will probably go smoothly. They probably already know I don’t have insurance from my file.
It’s funny, I never had a hospital stay in Canada where it would have costed me nothing. A few months in the US though and here we are. Fuck it! I survived Latin America and Mexico with no insurance and those places are dangerous as hell—this was meant to happen, so I”m gonna trust the universe and believe that everything will work out as its meant to.
I don’t know. Maybe Day 5 depending on whether you’re counting from the day I got home or my first full day back. My jaw is wired shut and I’m still eating through a straw. My wife did me a solid and picked up a bunch of frozen fruit, protein and other items which I have been nourishing myself with, and today I even blended some chicken tendies from Safeway. Is life good? I think so. Always, I suppose.
I’ve been pretty agreeable since I’ve been injured—a wired jaw will really make you argue a lot less. And with my mouth mostly out of commission, it’s difficult for my wife to accuse me of starting shit. Not impossible, mind you, but I have a lot more plausible deniability when I speak minimally.
The benefit, of that deniability is that it puts her on the spot when shit has gone awry. She has to look at herself and askherself how the argument started, or what she’s mad about, etc. I think it’s accurate to say that we are all mirrors for each other on some level, but within the context of our marriage, this is the most mirror-like I have been. Looking at someone silently while they yell at you is—at least in theory—a great way to communicate without communicating that they are the problem.
*continued December 26/2022*
Of course, anyone who’s been married knows that being right will not save you—not in the short-term at least. I know that to maintain my soul over the medium/long-term I have to stay aligned with truth. Furthermore, I know that by aligning myself with truth I am agreeing in advance to a lot of arguments and posturing indignation from my better half. So be it.
It’s a new day. We made it through/past Christmas. There was some arguing but I don’t feel as if I provoked—I feel as if I recognized problems in advance and removed those bullets from the chamber before they went off dangerously (often to the chagrin of my wife who was sore that her bristling fur was observed when she maintained she was calm), and otherwise only spoke up to defend myself and/or clarify my position.
The problem with me is that I’m always right; and that’s no easy for a lot of people to deal with. Least of all for a spouse.
These motherfuckers are really taking their sweet ass time with triage. I checked into ER in Maricopa on Friday after getting a vicious sucker punch which fractured my jaw in two places. That night I was transferred to Phoenix. and the last couple mornings someone unfailingly comes in and tells me that my ‘procedure’ been postponed for a day on account of no OR space.
The procedure in question is getting put under so that they can put titanium plates in my jaw. IN the meantime, I’ve ben waiting so long that the pain and bleeding have mostly stopped, and while the left-anterior fracture is setting improperly, a broken jaw that has calmed the fuck down re: bleeding and pain presents a great opportunity to stretch without fear of breaking my jaw.
So that’s what I did last night; lengthening my entire vertebral column and moving it around, and feeling layers of muscle unwrapping from around my and having my skull plates and upper jaw shift.
The jawbone is literally connected to every other bone.
So I got another 24 hours to keep working on that loosening up of the body before the plates go in and I have to chill the f out on intensive stretching while my jaw sets in place.
I also got (minor) concerns that nerve damage could occur during surgery but the docs seem quite competent. I think some ‘detritus’ needs to come out of the right side of my face (wisdom teeth potentially), but I don’t want them pulling tissue out willie nillie because who knows where it could be connected? The jawbone’s connected to the…
Cost notwithstanding, I am glad to have another 24 hours to utilize this broken jaw to stretch and unwrap muscle tissue that is both connected to my right-side jaw and wrapped around my vertebrae and whole right side through fascial chains.
************
The song, Through the Wire by Ye has been a good song to listen to to take motivation. Also School Spirit. Anything Kanye, really. I rewatched the jeen-yus Kanye trilogy again last night, and one thing he says at the end of the first episode when they foreshadow his car accident is,
‘It was like God saying, “I’m about to hand you the world. Just know at any given time I could take it away from you.”’
That seemed powerful to me, and certainly relatable as my American life is about to take off.
This Kanye West situation has me intrigued. The last few weeks he has been a Man on Fire and I am hoping that he survives this run. Today I had some time and watched his recent appearance on Infowars. It was surreal.
It’s also funny, as Ye is quite charming and on the ball, seizing the opportunities to make well-timed jokes in between the message he’s putting out.
And ballsy. In case you’re missing context, he pulled out a net (pictured above) and a bottle of Yoo-Hoo and started doing ventriloquism of Benjamin Netanyahu (net + yoo-hoo), openly mocking the Israeli statesman after acknowledging at the outset that Netanyahu was known for having people killed.
And of course the mask gives off ISIS/PLO vibes, making it seem like the news has been taken over by terrorists. Several times as I was watching, reality felt slippery. I couldn’t believe this rock star and (arguably) most famous person on the planet was going on the attack against killers.
Another thing I noticed in this video is that Ye talks more about Zionists than Jews. I think this is for the best because Zionism is a choice as opposed to Judaism which people are born into. And while not all Zionists are bad, the Zionism movement has unarguably created a lot of misery and loss of life in the Middle East.
Also attending the interview was Nick Fuentes (23), an alleged white supremacist who was there as support for Ye. I didn’t know Fuentes before the Trump dinner at Mar-a-Lago, but I don’t see the white supremacy. I’m fairly impressed by how grounded the young man is, and so is Ye, as throughout the interview he keeps referring back to Fuentes to explain factually the topics he brings up during his enlightened stream-of-consciousness.
**************************************
Some years before his death, the late, great Patrice O’Neal gave his perspective on Tracy Morgan’s situation after getting in trouble with GLAAD and his “great benefactor”, Tina Fey for making wild, homophobic statements during a comedy show.
Some of Patrice’s comments:
“Look, you know I don’t fall for no banana in no tailpipe….Anybody that says it, I believe the opposite; I try to make the opposite opinion right away.” (direct quote)
“There’s no lone gunslingers in Hollywood. You gotta be affiliated. It’s like jail. Someone will ask you who you roll with. If you say ‘Noone; I’m just gonna read and do my time,” then he’ll say, “Okay, well I’m gonna rape you cause you ain’t really got no one lookin’ out for you.” (paraphrased)
“You gotta be part of a cartel…but I deal with mid to low level Jews, because they dont want you to be part of their group. They deal in money. A lot of people expect me to have a revolutionary position and I would disappoint a lot of people if I had to flop around on my belly. I don’t wanna owe that much!” (paraphrased)
“The entertainment industry is the beast and it chews you up and shits you out, and as soon as you get shit out you’re allowed to get back in line to get in its mouth. And there’s always a line up because when you’re in the belly of the beast you’re making $2 Million/week.” (paraphrased)
“That’s why you gotta respect guys like Charlie Sheen who took a stand against the beast—gave the beast indigestion. Or Mel Gibson—shit Mel Gibson was so big he coulda been the beast. And so when he walks away from that you gotta give respect.” (paraphrased)
Patrice is well aware that every celebrity (black or otherwise) is one bad quote away from being on the outs with the establishment or one of its numerous cartels. And, were he alive today, I would be keenly interested to hear his thoughts on Kanye’s stand/the ‘indigestion’ he’s been giving the beast.
“People need to put it all on the line and tell the truth.” -Nick Fuentes
In recent years, the Clown World meme has become popular as a criticism the many inversions we have been told to accept over the last few years.And just as there is something performative in the deceptions we are attacked with, Clown World itself is performative in its satire of the absurdities which come as a logical social consequence of governmental approval-‘maxing’ as a smokescreen for governmental chicanery. This interview is a Clown World art exhibit, or even a Clown World cultural artefact—it feels significant (to me), even if we take it personally when he tap-dances upon our most thoroughly conditioned cultural ideas.
I feel braver with Kanye out there saying what he wants. I feel like not only ‘can I’ say what I want, but I have to say what I want. I mean, I immigrated here to the US from Canada for a lot of reasons, but not least of those was 1A.
For all you gamblers out there, here are my predictions:
-To begin with, there will be quiet for a while and things will return to normal-ish -people will still be mad going into 2023, but he’ll drop the most undeniably fire album on Jan 1 -it’ll be R. Kelly’s, ‘Chocolate Factory x1000′, in its power to make people disregard the scandal entirely -Ye will become ordained as a priest -Ye will win GOP nomination with Trump as running mate (ok by constitution; not permitted by Catholic canon if priest…w/e tho) -will win presidency -hilarity will ensue -he will live long enough to see himself become a villain
Write-Errantry 