Monthly Archives: June 2016

Becoming a Pillar of the Community

Friends,

I often talk about building a strong community; the kind of place with trust and reciprocity where I would feel comfortable raising a child. But as of late I haven’t been living that goal to an extent that satisfies me. So last week I decided to fill my schedule and do something that thrust me into the community every day. I started Saturday…

Saturday June 18/2016
After spending a day outdoors rediscovering the beauty of nearby Dundas Valley, I showered up, put on my best grey wife-beater and headed to a tantric sex seminar at local community hub, Avalon House. It was a small, intimate setting and the attendees were all quite friendly. My only qualm was the instructor; she wasn’t the greatest presenter of information and was someone who I got frustrated with just listening to. At one point she demonstrated synchronized breathing with me (I breathed out with my mouth while she inhaled with her nose, and vice versa, while staring into each other’s eyes) and it was really tough to make a spiritual connection cause her breath was really bad. Plus, she kept trying to overtly demonstrate mastery in extraneous ways -i.e. when she asked if anyone had ever been massaged I mentioned that a girl I dated used to give me massages. She was quick to point out that the girl probably didn’t really know what she was doing. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that the girl was a licensed massage therapist who worked at the Renaissance Hotel where pro athletes stay when they visit to play the Jays. Plus, she kept implying that I was gay in spite of the fact that my interest in women had been established naturally in prior conversation. I wasn’t bothered by this, but it felt like a heavy-handed neg.
I had to depart early and head to the Summer Solstice ritual for the Wiccan Church of Canada, but alas when I got to the venue I discovered that they weren’t there which was kind of a bummer because I was looking forward to sacrificing a small mammal and then smearing its entrails all over my genitals before engaging in a ritualistic orgy.
PILLAR OF THE COMMUNITY!

Sunday June 19/2016
Mostly took it easy, although later in the afternoon, Kelton, Kay and myself did go check out some open houses. Trying to make ACCESS as reality….
Later in the evening I headed back downtown for the SalsaSoul social. It was a lot of fun. There was a lesson in Zizomba (not Zumba) and then after basic steps were learned it transformed…degenerated….evolved maybe?… yeah, it evolved into a dance party with salsa in the main hall and Zizomba on the patio. Since I don’t know how to Salsa I spent most of my time on the patio but it was a great learning experience. I’ve never had much in the way of formal training in dancing but some older ladies there who were a lot more experienced and forgiving of my newness made for great partners as they knew how to follow and it made me better at leading.

QUICK TANGENT: Men and women have different roles to play in dancing, but noone is crying SEXISM! And why? I think it’s because even though the man “leads” (and he most certainly does), what is he without his partner? Nothing. They are not equal, insofar as equal implies sameness, because they are most assuredly different. But they are complementary (not complimentary….I hate when people mix these two up) and therefore both completely necessary, inextricable and beautiful in their paired completeness.
I know, I know, caveman misogynist thinking…..

BACK TO DANCING…. It was a lot of fun and I really enjoyed the social -beautiful people (WOMEN!) of all different ages dressed casually and everyone was so warm and welcoming. It felt a lot more organic and conducive to making meaningful connections than being at a nightclub. This is good, because I do want to go out dancing more. In fact, dancing once a month is a resolution of mine and it seems a lot more attainable now that I’ve found not only a venue but a scene in which I feel I can thrive.

Monday June 20/2016
Today, I did some work for my friend, Amy. It’s nice working for her; she feeds me well, makes great espresso and she pays cash. I jetted home around 2:30, grabbing a bottle of Campari en route then drew a bath, smoked a little dope and indulged in the liquor while listening to a 70s funk classic playlist on youtube. Incidentally, this playlist gave me the idea for the title of my next post which will tentatively be called, “Whitey’s Goin’ to Mars” so look out for that -it’s gonna be hot. Also, I think I’m gonna start learning how to play bass…
What does this have to with community engagement? Well, not much except to point out that I was still kinda drunk and high when I went to my first Toastmasters meeting. Now I wasn’t killed or anything but I certainly felt…..expanded. Going in as a guest I figured I would be silent and observe but after I introduced myself during introductions, a longtime member, Nathalie, felt that I was ready for prime-time. When the chair indicated it was her time to relate a humorous story she passed the buck to me, feeling that I had the confidence and the chops to do so. Faced with no choice but to rise to the occasion I got up and reverted to this sort of default faux-bewildered posture I put on when I’m trying to come across as endearing to crowds. I’m not sure how it comes across to my audience but to me it feels Matthew McConaughey-ish. If you’ve ever seen me affect this persona and disagree as to the extent of its McConaughey-ishness please keep your opinions to yourself. IT’S MCCONAUGHEY-ISH DAMMIT!!
So I told a humorous story and then later during a portion called table topics I gave a riveting one-minute speech about play-doh. How do I know it was riveting? Because I got a shiny gold trophy, BITCH!!

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“Best Table-Topic Speech.” -Damn, it feels good to be a gangster.

So, basically I can retire from Toastmasters undefeated at this point. Ha, just kidding going back next week (blind, stinking sober) to give a speech of the
“life lessons” variety. So that should be fun.

So, What Does Tomorrow Have in Store?
Well, I have tentative plan to go to improv tomorrow, and after that a writer’s group I’ve been meaning to attend on Wednesday. But this feels cool and right to me and its amazing how quickly a “should” becomes a necessity when you put it into your phone’s daytimer.

Anyways gotta sleep now.

Annnnd maybe just one more Campari….

Best,
-Andre Guantanamo

 

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