Today was my last day at my full-time job. I had long been unhappy there and only stayed due to the relative comfort; a bad reason to do anything that does not make you happy. When I realized it was affecting my work and relationships with co-workers I figured I’d end on a high-note.
Now while this should enable me more time to blog (that post about rape is just around the corner from being done), I will actually have the internet equivalent of radio silence from about 3pm tomorrow until March 3rd. The reason for my absence from my favourite haunt (read: teh webs)??? I am going to be in Egbert, Ontario participating in a 12-day Vipassana meditation course. I don’t know exactly what it is and maybe that’s the point. I initially signed up for it as a convenient way to get out of work (that aforementioned job I was not happy at), but now that I have quit there the thought has occurred to me that maybe I don’t need to go to an intensive meditation course because I have all the free time I could want.
Welllllll, no. I am notorious for dicking around and procrastinating and even when I do meditate my mind tends to wander before I drift off to sleep. I am hoping to step my meditation game up a little over the next week or two although I am not going in with a specific goal.*
So what to expect? Not really sure. I know that I will be taking a vow of silence for the duration of the stay which will be damn near impossible for me. I am forbidden from killing anything or doing any harm (translation: I’ll be eating lentils), and of course no internets, telephones or even notebooks. So I guess I will have to remember all my sweet raps in my head-piece.
Why would someone do this (ps no drugs or alcohol either)? I guess I just want to drink life in and try everything there is to be tried. I don’t mind adversity as long as there is a pay-off and the adversity is itself is part of the reward. Suffering is great as long as it is joined with reward. This is why I have willingly subjected myself to things like hitch-hiking and going to Afghanistan. Of course these things can be shitty but they also have a certain appeal which is intrinsically tied to the shittiness. In other words you can’t separate the two.
*Usually when I meditate I have the goal of astrally projecting or lucid dreaming. I have had limited success in these regards.