In the quest to live life to its utmost for the sole purpose of having cool shit to write about, sometimes you must go out of your way for new experiences, and sometimes those experiences come to you. And so it was yesterday, when I was hit by a truck whilst riding my bike. Now without boring you with details about the circumstances which led to this collision, I will simply say that I became quite enraged at the driver and made my displeasure known to him. This was perhaps the worst mistake I could have made. I began screaming at him and calling him all kinds of fucking retards. Seeing me in such a livid state the guy dug in his heels and tried to blame me for the collision saying I shouldn’t have been riding my bike on the sidewalk (funnily enough, his powers of observation failed to recognize that I had a walk sign and the ultimate trump card; he had a red light). The conversation ended pretty much how you would expect: he said “Yeah, I’m a retard I guess” and he drove off.
As he drove off I felt a pang of regret and wished that he would come back so I could apologize for my outburst, and say instead what would have been far more productive: “Hey dude, do me a favour and next time check both sides before you pull into traffic.” With those words, said calmly, he would have no choice but to take a lesson from the experience. Instead he learned nothing and now he probably hates cyclists on the road even more.
Congratulations me!!: I have just done my part to make the road a little more dangerous for cyclists.
It was weird though, as he drove away and I began to feel regret, I also felt good. I don’t typically become what I would call enraged, and as the rage subsided I felt what was kind of a high. I truly believe it is important for human beings to experience the full gamut of emotion regularly for their own health, and with that belief in mind I could not help but think that a blowout like I had just had was in some way therapeutic.
Aldous Huxley felt the same way too when he wrote the book “Brave New World,” in which a planned society has no cause for anger or misgivings and instead lives an ideal and happy existence. The scientists in the book have figured out that human beings need these now-absent negative emotions for the chemical effects they have on the body and brain. So they have developed the serum,V.P.S., or Violent Passion Surrogate which is administered monthly. As World-Controller, Mustapha Mond explains to the protagonists, “V.P.S. has all the tonic effects of killing Desdemona and being killed by Othello.”