The Cost of Enlightenment

The Cost of Enlightenment is loss.

You’re not a full adult until your parents are gone.

You’re not a good driver until you’ve been in at least one accident.

You haven’t completed life until you’ve passed on.

“If I’m late  -don’t wait!
Go on without me.
I may tarry a while.
Cause I need to know before I go,
How come the devil smile?”
-Jesse Winchester, Step by Step

Young Goodman Brown in Hawthorne’s short story of the same name became enlightened one night by seeing just how far the devil’s influence spread into his town, it’s ‘righteous’ inhabitants, and his own wife, Faith. What did it cost him? The rest of his life lived out in resentment and mistrust.

“Why oh why didn’t I take the ‘blue pill’?”
-Cypher, The Matrix

“I shoulda stayed asleep -wakin’ up will get you killed!”
-El-P, True Story

“I’ll answer all your questions but then y’all got to go/
Now the question I ask y’all is ‘How bad you wanna know?’ ”
-Jay-Z, A Million and One Questions

In Sterquiliniis Invenitur – In filth it will be found
-Alchemic Dictum

“The thing you want most is where you least want to look.”
-Carl Jung and/or Jordan Peterson

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Enlightenment I realize is not a singular point although it might be properly said to occupy a singular domain consistently across every field of endeavour, and then only to the extent that every domain of endeavour has a similar pyramidical structure. In this conceptualization, the apex of each pyramid in each separate plane occupies the multi-dimensional nexus if you will. Basically, the tips touch (no homo). Enlightenment, like flow, exists across all domains and while flow might be considered a state of high focus where we are so engaged in our activity that we are pushing against the ‘walls’ of reality (or ‘limiting beliefs’ we hold), enlightenment might be considered that point where we ‘break through’ and reach a new plateau. It may be the apex of the climb so far, but as long as you’re alive there’s still more mountain.

Oh, and by the way, those ‘walls’ of reality? => They can be thought of as enclosures like a hermit crab’s shell -they protect us, keep us safe and allow us to grow, but we’re meant to ‘renovate’ as we grow, knocking down the smaller enclosures as our girth expands and our consciousness comes to take up more space.

******************************

“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self. Therefore, trust the physician and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility.”
-Khalil Gibran

The cost of enlightenment.

Best,
-Dre

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Fractals in Nature

Friends,

Some years back while living in Berlin I ate some poisonous mushrooms in Tiergarten and saw, among other things, the kaleidoscopic nature of the universe. It wasn’t my first time seeing the rainbow spectacle of a gyrating, polygonal vortex (nor is this my first time describing it), but I remember laying there and being underwhelmed by the stained-glass majesty of it all. And that’s what it was: stained glass writ large, bearing no biblical scene, but something profoundly religious nonetheless. And still, I was underwhelmedWhy?  Thinking back now I remember waiting for something expectantly, but I do wish I could have a glimpse of it in this moment because I feel that it has been too long since I saw the kaleidoscopic nature of things and I feel like perspective is an easy thing to lose, particularly when beset on all sides by comparatively trivial day-to-day concerns and the frustrations attendant upon living in a small town and trying to make a go of things as a responsible, conscientious citizen. I am dealing with stuff now that I’ve not had to deal with for some time because my existence has been so fluid. Things like getting caught up on taxes, politicking with roommates, fucking snow! Getting bogged down in these things makes it easy to lose perspective and spend too much time in one microcosmic matrix when there are many more to choose from. The kaleidoscope shows us this. In it, we see all possible matrices. It’s like opening the aperture W I D E and letting all the light in. The formerly dark tunnel you were heading down is now illuminated and in the light you see myriad doors and passages branching off and branching back. The reality is that it is only darkness which makes a tunnel so. I need some light.

-Dre

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A Blog Well Typed

Friends,

As I continually intensify and improve my mastery of my craft, it occurs to me that it might do to improve my writing at the most mechanical level: typing. I’m regrettably still largely a two-finger typer, and although I have moments of inspiration where I can finish off entire words without looking at the keyboard,  I still struggle when I need to transcribe from a screen. Also, even though my current two-finger speed greatly outpaces my “proper technique speed,” I know that there is a much lower top end speed on the former, and this is unacceptable.

Any idea how long it took to write that last sentence? Too long. Yet I nonetheless notice improvement since I first began this endeavour this morning. Two-finger typing technique notwithstanding, I do essentially know where all the keys are, so now it’s just a matter of re-training the individual fingers and developing muscle memory. Incidentally this finger-training isn’t as novel an endeavour as I initially felt it to be as I slowly slogged through a list of SEO keywords this morning; I have been playing guitar for two years now and over the past couple of weeks I have really been devoting myself to sophisticated finger-picking techniques. First was On my One by Jake Bugg (which I’m actually listening to on repeat right now), then House of the Rising Sun by The Animals, and today was Grandma’s Hands by Bill Withers. What’s great about the latter in particular is that it’s also the melody from No Diggity, and as I have been endeavouring to work on my ‘rapping while singing’ faculties I’m essentially getting two birds stoned at once.

I really think intelligence is closely tied to finger dexterity -this was one of the reasons I enrolled in massage therapy- and so I see it as imperative to develop said dexterity in order to embrace that latent intelligence which currently exists in my brain only as an unlockable. It’s actually a little funny, but as I have been entertaining the idea of switching my major to paralegal and even taking the LSAT, these overtures toward masterful typing make me think that I could have a calling in the exciting world of court stenography. Imagine me being he who is tasked with transcribing the goings-on of the courtroom –so much potential for hilarity.

Well that about does it for typing practice tonight. See you in the funny papers!

Best,
-Dre

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The Marriage Within

Friends,

For about five years I have thought seriously about myself and the world in terms of Masculine and Feminine energies existing in a state of dynamic tension. It started when Chelsea and I parted ways 5 years ago and I retreated into myself. Was I depressed? Perhaps a little. The onset of a long Canadian winter and the attendant darkness didn’t help much either. But in that withdrawal I became remarkably creative; writing comedy, performing regularly, acting in numerous film projects, and smoking a lot of marijuana throughout. I was embracing inner beauty which I’d never embraced before in such a wholesale way.

Something shifted in me after about 9 months though. I had been healing…softening… for too long and at a conscious level I was worried that I was beginning to self-censor because I didn’t wish to hurt or offend people. Also, spring was coming and I had a couple more film projects on the docket then I wanted out; it had been years since my last adventure and I could feel the call of the open road. What I later realized was that the shift I felt was my Masculine energy beginning to bubble.

While Feminine Andre lived comfortably in Kelly’s basement, did odd-jobs for the people in the neighbourhood and struggled to be normal around women, Masculine Andre boldly walked through Latin America like a conquistador and had no compunction about talking to any woman he saw. In most cases he got what and whom he wanted because he spoke up first and loudest.

Looking back on discrete stages in my life its easy to view Masculine and Feminine as adding up to 100% and being composed of varying proportions. In fairness, that is actually not a totally unsophisticated view of things and it has the benefit of being palatable to females who narrowly and incorrectly assume Feminine = Female and Masculine = Male. Since they (women) can typically recognize their own Masculine traits and behaviours, they usually accept the idea of a balance, especially if you emphasize the beauty and importance of Feminine traits.

But here’s what I learned: The nice 100% model of Masculinity and Femininity described above, where we try and maintain a balance of 50-50 in spite of fluctuations, is obsolete. It comes from a well-intentioned place, but it makes the same narrow assumptions about Femininity and Masculinity being equivalent to Female and Male respectively.

So what is the optimal relationship between Masculine and Feminine? As controversial as it sounds, Femininity needs to be bound by Masculinity. Think about it: If you’re a woman –especially if you’re a woman– you need to keep a wall up around you day to day.

Do you hate when men say, “Hey babe, why don’t you smile more?” Of course you do and its because they’re trying to coax out your Femininity, the most beautiful parts of you, for nothing.

Have you ever had to put up boundaries in your life with toxic people? We all have. Guess what? Those boundaries are built with bricks of Masculinity and they protect our most beautiful and vulnerable parts from being mistreated by vandals.

Interestingly there is a historical and etymological antecedent for this idea in the concept of paradise. The word evolved into its common iteration from the old Persian phrase for “walled garden.” Why is a walled garden a paradise? Well because its a little bit of unsullied beauty protected for your own personal enjoyment. In paradise you don’t have to worry about other people littering, or finding a secluded spot to lay your blanket. You have a discrete, finite area which is yours, which you can manicure and care-take. A place of verdant, fertile beauty, kept in bounds.

Going forward I am going to avoid the bi-polar trap of thinking in terms of Masculine-Feminine spiking -I don’t want that volatility anymore. I visualize myself now as a walled enclosure, and the wall has many gates and ports of entry. There is potential to let a lot of things in and a lot of things out –but only with my discernment. And let’s be honest about what this means: it means protecting your beauty from ill-intentioned interlopers, and protecting it with your life if necessary.

This is not gonna sound palatable to some but Man the Fuck Up! –Men and Women alike! Cultivate a strong Masculinity that isn’t hopelessly rigid but which will protects your beautiful Femininity nonetheless.

Best,
-Dre

 

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The First Blog I Ever Looked Forward To…

EDIT: The Press This function didn’t work out as I had anticipated so here is the link for Illimitable Men: https://illimitablemen.com/

Friends,

I am in the process of giving my entire online presence a facelift and right now I’m exploring the tools available to me in my wordpress suite. One tool, Press This, allows me to take a snapshot of a corner of the internet and attach a blog to it. I guess it’s fundamentally the same as sharing a link on Facebook and then writing an associated comment.

For whatever reason the first url that came to my mind to Press was the blog, Illimitable Men. This blog is just wow! [sic]. A veritable treasure trove of redpill wisdom, well-researched health & nutrition information, soberly reasoned advice, and motivation to grab life by the horns. I remember sitting on the steps of Surfing Turtle Lodge in Nicaragua back in early 2017, licking my wounds from things not working out with Marijo, and feeling ready to attack life after reading these posts. I felt like I could talk to anybody, cultivate any strategy, work to achieve any goal and play 4D chess against Donald Trump with Bobby Fischer up my ass.

I’m gonna go back over the posts about Monk Mode in the near future as they were some of the most memorable. Check it out when you get a sec. Information on testosterone, relationships, hobbies, etc. abounds.

Best,
-Andre

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The Most Gangster Vandalism I’ve Ever Seen

Friends,

Yesterday was Remembrance Day and I attended the campus ceremony here. I was wearing civvy clothes with my regimental headdress and Op Athena decorations, but there were a lot of active and former members in attendance wearing full dress uniform. I spoke with one of the guys, and he is putting together an on-campus group for student-vets. I think this is a great idea and I look forward to having coffee with these boys and building up the group into something special. In somewhat related news, a few girls told me how handsome I looked which is always nice to hear, and all in all it was a great success as far as days dedicated to remembering the fallen go.

But not everywhere. It seems that sometime overnight the cenotaph in Toronto got vandalized:

The text, YE BROKE FAITH WITH US, is obviously a reference to Colonel John McCrae’s World War One poem, In Flander’s Fields, although the source I read was reluctant to definitively make that connection…fuckin’ MSM!!

Some further context: This past weekend Don Cherry was fired from Sportsnet for obliquely suggesting that immigrants were not sufficiently grateful to the Canadian soldiers who (ostensibly) have made this country such a desirable place to live. Are these two events connected? I don’t know but there seems to be a common theme.

First, let me get the superficial out of the way; This is fucking badass. Ye broke faith with us sounds like the kind of biblical warning a supervillain would issue before beginning a campaign of terror. I got a slight chill when I saw it and it reminded me of the vandalized statue of Superman from the Batman v Superman teaser from a few years ago.

To a lesser extent I was reminded of Raoul Silva’s cryptic warming to M before blowing up MI6 in Skyfall:

I can’t help it -I love gangster shit, and there’s nothing more gangster than a cryptic warning. As much as I’m against desecration, I am (net) more in favour of artistic expression/detournement.

Also, I’m not convinced that this is disrespect for veterans. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was a veteran who did this on behalf of disgruntled veterans as a criticism of the Trudeau government cutting benefits for veterans. Or perhaps it was a veteran who was troubled by what he perceived as excessive kowtowing to ‘immigrant norms’ or the way (again), the Trudeau government paid off Omar Khadr.  Add to the mix the Don Cherry controversy as a catalyst, and I could see a lot of moto soldier-types getting up like this.

Again, I’m not vouching for or co-signing the motivations or even the actions in an absolute sense. I’m simply speculating that this strikes me as an act on behalf of veterans by a veteran. And, as it was non-violent and subversive to a monument which is ostensibly for veterans in a climate where veterans feel they are being left out to dry, it strikes me as pretty badass and even poetic.

There is of course the possibility that it is a black op: Jussie Smollett for example, tried to defame the right by pretending he got attacked by them, and it’s possible that there are provocateurs who wish to turn public support away from white men by acting like a disgruntled veteran and doing something a disgruntled veteran would do. This strikes me as excessively complex though and perhaps ineffective, because if anything it would garner initial sympathy for veterans and that might not abate even if it were pinned on a veteran patsy. No, I don’t think this is a black op -too many competing sympathies.

Whomever did this, meant it.

Best,
-Dre

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6 Nov 2019 Lecture Review

Friends,
I attended a lecture this evening which I was very excited to see -a Muslim speaker from the UK defending the idea of faith from the irrationality of atheism. Lovely, as I feel most mafuccas need more Jesus (or one of his archetypal counterparts) in their lives.
I was disappointed.
Right from the get-go as one of the “lucky” 20 early arrivals I “won” a t-shirt but could only claim it if I signed some forms denoting how I could wear it and what purposes I could use it for. I realized that this was going to be a highly-politicized thing and not a good faith talk about reconciling faith and rationalism.
Needless to say I passed on the shirt for this reason and also because all my t-shirts say “Nicaragua” or “San Juan del Sur” on them and I wouldn’t wanna deviate from a working formula.
I listened intently to speaker when he came on and did my best to follow his arguments, but he chained together a lot of words whose meanings I know, but whose combined meanings I had to think about for a second. Now English is my first language and I know my way around some big words, but guy was tripping ME up at certain point with his verbose bombast and jargon, so I doubt that the broader audience – a lot of international students and people taking their first crack at post-secondary- were picking it all up. (Keep this in mind)
At halftime Q&A I asked him about his earlier assertion that there was no connection between “truth and survival”. First I asked if that was his contention or if it was something he said while laying out the position of his opponents. He said it was his contention.
SO I then asked him a specific question about his example, his example being: “If we were all dropped in the forest and I said ‘all mushrooms are poisonous’ and nobody ate them, we would have a better chance of survival, even though my statement is not true.”
I asked him if he thought that this was actually proof of the lack of connection between truth and survival or if it was a problem regarding the level of analysis -for example, was that little lie about all mushrooms being poisonous nested in a larger order truth about needing to make ‘one size fits all’ rules to ensure maximum survivability? He evaded this question and moved on. I was disappointed, but it was destined to get worse.
For part 2 of the talk he quoted a verse from the Quran which laid out four possibilities for creation:
You were created from:
1) Nothing
2) Yourself
3) Another creation (infinite regression as he termed it)
4) Uncreated creator
I asked him to clarify the importance of the word “Uncreated” in 4) and elaborate on how “Uncreated” differed from “Nothing.” It turns out that “nothing” is nothing and nothing can’t exist, whereas an “uncreated creator” is something and therefore can exist.
I can’t make this up, people.
The problem was not that his explanation was a purely semantical one (especially after he had condescended to an audience member for listening to his words and not his meaning), the problem for me was that he could have gone so many more interesting places with “Uncreated” -the threshold between being and not being where the rules bend and life is created; the “friction point” (no pun intended) where masculine leaves its impression on feminine and creation happens; a point on the cusp of being and not being.
But no. Uninspired, dogmatic, proselytizing semantics is what we got.
I also asked him to explain why we couldn’t have been created from another creator going back in perpetuity and why this eternal process of becoming and unbecoming couldn’t be considered God.
Well evidently because that was not what he had learned. No, God had to be a static thing.
Now remember I said to keep in mind that a lot of his ostentatiously sophomoric word combinations were beyond the reasonably expected level of comprehension? Well, the most avid of commenters, two older gentlemen up front who seemed to to be comprehending him as well as me, took him to task for his unfounded and recklessly-made claims. He not only evaded but also began condescending to them for their faith in the scientific method. I forget the term he used, but it was some slur for rationalism, “scientism”perhaps….
Then he took a moment to (and I fucking cannot stand this) read off the names of books that we the audience should all read, finishing with “and then come talk to me.”
Yes, he literally said that. He told us to go educate ourselves. The college paid money to bring this guy to speak. It was fucking embarrassing.
By this point my eyes were rolled into the back of my head and I’m pretty sure I had developed brain lesions for the stupidity of it all.
The piece de resistance though, and what made me finally walk out was that after giving us a reading list, he started ranting and condescending to us, repeating the phrase “Don’t believe what you see on youtube” and “Don’t believe the youtube philosophers”. There were other spontaneous utterances interspersed between these fallback slogans, but the whole thing seemed to me like he was trying to film a highlight sizzle reel for his own youtube intros. I walked out in disgust.
The whole thing seemed like a calculated attempt to polarize people against Muslims through smug, self-assuredness; there’s a lot of this polarization on yt because by rousing up the most ignorant of you intellectual opponents to be the most vocal, you can then classify all of your opponents thusly. Transparent as hell!
Oh, and I’m not big fan of Richard Dawkins, but this jokester spoke the man’s name as if he was on his level. He was not.
I’m glad I went, but I will never attend a talk by this guy again. Nor will I provide his name.
Dear Muslim Society of Georgian, please aim higher. There are so many great compassionate, humble, erudite Muslim speakers you could have invited, but you chose a smug, preening, psuedo-intellectual who covers for his ignorance with big words and who wears what his what he knows like an ill-fitting suit.
I invited a Christian couple to this event, and I would have been embarrassed if they had been able to attend.
Best,
-Dre
PS: Real conversation as I left
Organizer who had invited me: “Yo bro how was it”
Me: “Well I ‘m glad I came, but I decided to leave when he started insulting the audience.”
Org: “I can’t talk about it”
Me: “You just asked me, though”
Org: “I’m not allowed to talk about it.”
Me: “So you don’t want to know how it was?…”
Org: ……
Me: “Ok, well have a good night.”
Can’t make this shit up!

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